32 Seconds, A Phone Call and Two Text Messages

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Rubble of collapsed buildings after earthquake under clear sky.

It is April 28, 2009.

I am driving my car alone, with my parents’ car in front of me. My father is driving, with my mother and my 94-year-old aunt. We are heading back home to Abruzzo after getting the green light from the civil protection agency. After the terrible earthquake of the night of April 6th, my parents sought refuge with me in Veneto, while my sister stayed in one of the hotels on the coast for six long months.

I still remember that night. The phone rings, it’s 3:35 am! I get up, already aware that the sound carries bad news. Every step that brings me closer to the phone increases my concern. I answer, my father on the other end: “Nancy, did you feel the earthquake? Everything shook here, I can’t find your sister, please help me!” “Calm down Dad, I didn’t feel anything, don’t worry, I’ll try to call her, you leave the house, don’t stay there, take mom and aunt with you. I’ll call you on your cellphone as soon as I know something!”

I turned on the TV, the first reports were already broadcasting. As I realized what had happened, listening to the news, I prayed in my heart that my sister was alive. The news reported an earthquake at 3:32 am, lasting thirty-two seconds and measuring 5.9 in magnitude, with a prospect of deaths and injuries that made me shudder. Half an hour passed before I managed to contact her, all the lines were down. Time passed slowly and heavily on my hear.

At 04:13:46 on April 6, 2009, her first text message from L’Aquila: “We’re out of the house”; at 04:21:02, the second: “It’s a mess, but we’re fine.” I cried, tears of relief. But at that moment, somethingÂinside me crumbled like the walls in the pictures. I died and wasÂreborn for the second time. All in “thirty-two seconds,” a phone callÂand two text messages. From that moment on, my life changed.

I told my father that I had managed to contact my sister and thatÂthey were alive, sheltered in the shaky car in the parking lot. I spentÂthe rest of the night in front of the TV and at that point, my cryingÂresumed, for those people who had not been lucky like me to haveÂtheir loved ones safe, and for my people.Â

That night shook my roots, my foundations trembled; I was withÂthem, fallen to the ground, stunned… In the following days, myÂfamily joined me in Veneto; my sister went to the coast, to one of theÂhotels made available for earthquake victims.

It was a new beginning for me. A reversal, a quantum leap.

Now I was the parent, I was the one taking care of them. I would never have bet that my 94-year-old aunt would see my house, too
complicated to undertake such a trip under normal conditions. But it was happening.

I spent my time totally in the present. Nancy now watches them arrive from the window. Nancy is happy because they’re alive. Nancy is now baking a cake. Nancy is now calling the doctor to have them checked. Nancy is now giving her aunt a shower. Nancy is putting her son to bed. Nancy is talking to her mom and dad. Nancy gives them a goodnight kiss, as she always has.

I had a strong desire to hug my sister, she was the only one missing.

It was April 28, 2009, and I was driving to Abruzzo to bring my family back home. Now I am in my sister’s hotel room, waiting for her to
return from work.

I’m looking for a blanket, I want to lie down and rest a bit before she arrives. I’m feeling restless. I open the double door of the closet to get the blanket, but it’s not there.

So, I open the single door on the right. Instead of clothes, I see my niece’s juices, her biscuits, her bottles, her cheeses. At that moment, I burst into tears. I realized that my sister no longer has her home.

Those things that I had seen in the pantry of her kitchen at Christmas were now there, in that room that represented her entire world at that moment! As I cried, I said to myself, “What are you doing? Do you want to be found like this? You came all this way to be found in tears?”

You know when there are two parts of you trying to negotiate something that doesn’t seem negotiable at all? That was happening. 

An hour later, I recognize my niece’s playful screams in the hallway, announcing that soon that door would open, and they would be there in front of me! Finally, I see them. I reset myself. I am reborn. 

My niece puts her arms around my neck, then looks into my eyes and says with her big green eyes, “Do you know, auntie, that the earthquake broke my bed?”. 

The next day we celebrated my brother-in-law’s birthday. 

My own takeaway from this experience was: life is love, life is faith… life provides what you need… even though ‘what is’ does not always appear to be.

Lifehacks: Five actions to take for yourself

Strong and frightening experiences, whether they touch you directly or a loved one, necessitate a method of transitioning from the emergency phase to a ‘new normal.’ The four deepest meanings of transformation are shaping the experience, expressing the totality of oneself, moving forward with confidence in life, facing the unknown without fear, even from that extreme beyond, death. To cope with this situation of shock and fear of loss, as a coach I followed five steps:

I was happy and grateful because they were alive…The first step was focusing on gratitude. Take a moment each day to reflect on the things you’re grateful for. This could be anything from having a roof over your head to the love of family and friends. Gratitude helps shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what you still have.

I baked a cake… To practice self-care is a way to be in the present moment. Take time each day to do something that brings you joy, whether that’s going for a walk, reading a book, or baking a cake for you or your beloved ones. Self-care is important for maintaining your mental and emotional well-being.

We shared our feelings… Connecting with others and reaching out to family members or friends for support is nurturing. Talking about your feelings can be cathartic and help you process what you’re going through. You can also join support groups or seek out counseling if you need more help.

There was a lot of work to do to get back on track following the earthquake, and I felt overwhelmed. So, I decided to set small goals. Setting small, achievable goals can help you feel a sense of control and accomplishment. This can be as simple as making your bed in the morning or going for a 10-minute walk each day. As you achieve these goals, you’ll start to feel more confident and motivated.

Practice your favourite activity. I practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and aware of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations in the present moment in your surroundings. It can help you manage stress and anxiety and improve your overall well-being. My preferred practices are laughter yoga, active meditation, and yoga. You can practice mindfulness simply focusing your entire attention on your preferred practice and to your surroundings.

Take action today by implementing one of these ideas into your everyday routine. Remember that tiny changes can have a significant impact over time. If you need support, don’t be hesitant to ask for it. You are strong and resilient, and you can overcome challenges.

Stay mindful, sustainable, and open-minded

Smiling woman in red dress sitting on a white sofa, leaning on her hand.

Nancy Perin

Nancy is a caring individual with a background in sociology and a strong desire to connect people. She has improved workplaces and communities with her almost two decades of experience in management teams, human resources, coaching, and community project management. Nancy has also served on the board of directors of the Italian Personnel Managers Association and participated in a humanitarian mission to Dakar, Senegal, to support family centres.

Her intercultural love story sparked her interest in migration-relatedtopics and led her to launch @journeysta, a project that aims to strengthen cultural ties between Canada and Italy.

Nancy oversees the Gallery of Human Migration and believes in the possibility of creating caring communities that are involved in the processes of welcoming, acceptance, and integration. Join her on this journey of discovery and cultural exchange.

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Woman smiling in a garden, sitting on a rock beside white flowers, enjoying the sunny day.